So I'm looking to enter a 100 word contest. I wrote two poems for it. Trust me, they're both 100 words. Which is better? Can you give me a reason why? Any suggestions?
POEM ONE
I face front and wince at the spotlight.
“I’m here for Everyman One.”
A pause; excruciating wait.
“Show us what you got,” comes The Voice from the dark.
Inhale.
I begin small, cries and lullabies.
School days and take me out to the ball game.
Pomp and circumstance twice separated by a beat of four.
Heigh ho Heigh ho
And to a wedding march I go
Beat Beat And. . .
Cries and lullabies
School days repeat
Slowly creeping in my petty pace from tomorrow to tomorrow
To a funereal march.
Exhale.
The Voice speaks once more.
“We’ll let you know.”
POEM TWO
One second is all it takes.
Move forward and nothing is the same.
Back a tick and the status quo is a rock.
The wave rushes from behind us
Pushing through that moment and inexorably to the next.
But what if we could fight the tide, step back over the line we’ve crossed despite the pounding rush?
If we could step back
Rewind to before the ball left our hand
Or the word left our lips
Or the bullet left the gun
Or the match slipped from our fingers
Would we even know that we had to do it differently?
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I really like the second one, it speaks to me on more of a personal level. It also seems more like it could be a song. I think the first one sounds more "professional" in that it was the kind of thing I studied in HS (I can just see my 12th grade English teacher encouraging us to picking it apart). I still like it, just not as much.
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